Freelance life: what's different and what's exactly the same
Me probably saying things I've said before about work, life etc. after a month freelance
I remember taking the bins out once around this time of year, back when I lived in Crouch End, and looking up at the bare branches of the trees on my road. The street, the sky, it was all so quiet, as if it were holding its breath.
I’d been rushing around inside the flat, probably doing the usual domestic things like laundry and trying the get things tidy after a busy week at work. And I was probably in a new year’s resolutionsy, sort-your-life-out mindset. But I lingered in the chilly doorway for a moment, and looking at the pale blue sky in all its stillness, it felt obvious that I should take a cue from nature and stop busying myself with activity. It could all wait. I headed back into the warmth giving myself permission to retreat and rest, to do nothing. It probably only lasted a brief moment, but hey.
With the idea of living in harmony with the seasons in mind, I had always planned for January to be slow this year. As hard as it might be (turned out it was very), I had planned to conserve some energy for the spring and summer – when the days are longer and there aren’t amber wind warnings. I also wanted to give myself some time to chill after working pretty intensely for several years and to resist the pull of new year goal-setting and vitality.
It’s a month since my last day at Homes & Gardens, so I’ve tasted about a month of freelance life, give or take time off for Christmas and my birthday. In this month, I spent a few days in Budapest staring up at old church spires, watching the yellow tram slice through the city, and retained some shaky historical knowledge and some basic vocab. I turned 29. I became an auntie. My nephew is now a month old, as old as my freelance career. And I started my first freelance commissions.
In some ways, it feels far too early to reflect on this shift into freelance life – I mean, I’ve barely started. On the other hand, my kitchen is certainly cleaner.
Things that are different
Occasional freakouts (money, boring adult things)
Slower mornings
Days where I’ve accidentally done no work
Not having the moral support of a Slack chat with work pals
Taking more time and pride over my work
My hallway is actually clutter-free
Things that are the same
Getting distracted by WhatsApp web
Not finding time to do my interior design course
Trello being a source of calm
I’ve been wondering about how to structure my days, and have found myself happily working later in the day than I would ever have done before. This isn’t me being incredibly hardworking – I’ve also enjoyed slower starts, and have sometimes let the day slip away completely before an evening surge on the sofa with cups of tea and cosiness etc. I’ve always been a morning person, but not so much this month. I even ended up working a Friday night, but I had no other plans and felt in the writing mood. Maybe the fact the late evening is the ‘winter’ season of the day makes it a good time for focus and creativity at this time of year.
I’m not quite ‘in my stride’ but so far, I’ve been treating Mondays as Mondays, getting up a little earlier and embracing the ‘start of the week’ feeling, coffee and fresh notebook in hand. It would be a waste not to use the familiar weekly rhythm we’ve known since primary school – for me, on Sunday night the machinery inside is always gearing up in preparation for the new week.
Another big question I’ll need to work out is how much work is too much work and how much is too little. But as I said, it’s too early to judge. I need to be patient, mindful, and try not to panic.
Last year, January really seemed to crawl, but friends agree that this time it’s had a little bit more momentum. Maybe it’s felt the same for you, or maybe it already feels like it’s been 648 days long. It might be my birthday month, but I’d never defend it. January is bleak, it’s grey, it’s dark, it’s challenging mentally and it can feel like there’s not much to look forward to. But we’re nearing the end – next week is the final full week of January, high five, which also means Pancake Day will be here before we know it. Along with all the Mini Eggs and tulips and Bank Holidays.
So maybe we can all take our foot off the gas a tiny bit and sink into the sofa for one more episode, knowing we’ll naturally have more energy to draw from as spring approaches. That said, next week I am picking up the pace with half-marathon training and I am nervous. But there will also be movie nights with friends and early nights with books, snoozed alarms and pottering mornings, and the satisfaction of gently and methodically getting my work done.